🎵 The 90/10 Rule: Why the Best Wedding DJs Win Before the First Song

From Logistics and Pronouns to Floor-Filling Playlist, Learn Everything You Need to Know Before the First Song is Played

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Congratulations! The contract is signed, the retainer is paid, and you are officially the DJ and Master of Ceremonies of a couple’s wedding day. While the guests see the party, a professional DJ knows that 90% of a successful wedding happens in the months of preparation leading up to the first song played.

As the MC, you are the director of the day. If the music is perfect but you mispronounce the Maid of Honor’s name or miss a cue for the toasts, the “vibe” is broken. This guide ensures that it never happens.

Phase 1: The Foundation (Post-Contract)

Once the ink is dry, your primary goal is to establish a system of organization.

The Client Planning Portal

Provide the couple with a comprehensive planning document immediately. This should be a living document where they can input:

• The Full Wedding Party: Every name, from the Venue to the Officiant.

• The Timeline: From the moment the first guest arrives at the ceremony to the final “Sparkler Send-off.”

• The “Vibe” Assessment: Ask them for three words that describe their ideal party (e.g., “Classic,” “High-Energy,” or “Intimate”). Have they been to a wedding before with a DJ? What did they like and dislike?

The Inclusive MC: Pronouns & Introductions

As the Master of Ceremonies, your voice carries authority. To build an immediate connection and ensure everyone feels seen and respected, you must clarify how the couple wishes to be identified and introduced. Never guess.

• The “Mr. & Mrs.” Trap: Don’t assume a couple wants to be introduced as “Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name].” Ask for their preference:

  • “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”

  • “The Smiths”

  • “Sarah and Jane”

  • “The Smith-Jones Family”

• Individual Pronouns: In your planning portal, include a field for pronouns (He/Him, She/Her, They/Them) for the couple and the entire wedding party. This is especially important for the Grand Entrance and when introducing toasters.

• Gender-Neutral Alternatives: If the couple prefers, use inclusive language when addressing the crowd. Instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen,” try “Everyone,” “Friends and Family,” or “Honored Guests”.

• The Connection Factor: When you take the time to ask, “How would you like me to announce your union?” or “What pronouns should I use for your Maid of Honor?” you aren’t just checking a box. You are showing the couple that you are an ally and a professional who pays attention to the details that matter.

Phase 2: The Data Dump (3–4 Months Out)

This is where you collect the “Must-Haves” and the “Absolutely-Nots”.

The Specialized Song Lists

A wedding is a theatrical production in four acts. You need specific music for every transition:

• The Ceremony:

  • The Prelude: 20–30 minutes of “seating music.”

  • The Processional: One song for the wedding party, one for the grand entrance.

  • The Recessional: High-energy, celebratory music for the walk back up the aisle.

• The Reception Formalities:

  • Grand Entrance: Are you introducing just the couple or their “tribe”?

  • The “Specialty” Dances: First Dance, Father/Daughter, and Mother/Son. Ask: “Do you want the full 4-minute song, or should I create a shorter 1-minute edit?” (Most couples prefer the latter).

The Must-Plays vs. Do-Not-Plays

• Must-Plays: Many DJs limit this to 10–15 songs. This gives the couple their “identity” while leaving you room to read the crowd. However, I prefer creating a list of songs that fit their guests and their favorites. That way, you can select the best ones for the moment.

• The “Do-Not-Play” (DNP) List: This is the most important list you will ever own. Whether it’s because a song is “cheesy” or because it triggers a bad memory, if it’s on the DNP, it stays in the vault, no matter how many guests request it.

Phase 3: Logistics & The Venue Connection

A great DJ knows the room before they step into it.

• The Venue Walkthrough: If you haven’t worked at the venue, visit it.

  • Power: Locate dedicated circuits. Sharing a circuit with the caterer’s coffee heaters is a recipe for a blown breaker mid-speech.

  • Load-in: Check for elevators or long hauls.

  • Cell/Wi-Fi Service: Never rely on streaming. Download every “Must-Play” and “Specialty” song locally to your hard drive in high-quality (320kbps) format.

  • Log pros and cons: Keep track of venues you need extra travel time, have limiting noise ordinances, require battery-powered ceremony speakers, and more.

• The Vendor Team: Have the contact information for all the vendors. If the rental company leaves the chandelier on bright during party time, you need to be able to reach them to dim it or unplug it (shared on the Beyond the DJ Booth Podcast). Plus, reach out to the wedding planner and photographer. Share your timeline. They are your teammates.

  • The Photographer/Videographer "Green Light": Before any major moment (Grand Entrance, First Dance, Cake Cutting), you must make eye contact with the lead photographer and videographer. If their flashes aren't ready or they are swapping a memory card, you do not start the moment.

The “Safety Net”

Experience tells us that things go wrong. A pro DJ isn’t just someone who plays music; they are someone who can fix a crisis without the couple ever knowing.

• The Second Audio Source: You should have the ceremony/specialty music on a secondary device (iPad or Phone) plugged into a separate channel. If the laptop freezes during the Bridal March, you need a “one-button” backup.

• The “Dead Air” Rule: Silence is your enemy. If a toast-giver is late to the mic, you must have “fill” music ready to fade in instantly.

Phase 4: Master of Ceremonies Prep (2 Weeks Out)

This is where you move from “DJ” to “MC”.

The Phonetic Script

Mispronouncing a name is the fastest way to lose the room’s respect.

• The Confirmation: Call or Zoom with the couple. Read every name on the list back to them.

• The Phonetic Cheat Sheet: Write the names out exactly as they sound in your script.

  • Example: Siobhan (Shi-VON), Beauvais (Bo-VAY), Nguyen (WIN).

• The Order: Confirm the exact order of the Grand Entrance. Who walks with whom?

The Crate Organization

Don’t just have a “Wedding” folder. Organize your library into “Moments”:

1. Ceremony: Have all the prelude, aisle walking songs, and any special ceremony songs like the unity ceremony in one folder.

2. Cocktail Hour: Upbeat but “below the voice” (Motown, Tropical House, Jazz).

3. Dinner: Sophisticated and mid-tempo (Yacht Rock, Indie Folk, Crooners).

4. The Floor Fillers: Multi-generational “slam dunks” (Earth, Wind & Fire, ABBA, Pitbull).

5. The “Safety” Crate: Songs that can save a dying floor (The “Cupid Shuffle” or “Mr. Brightside” types).

• The “Bridge” Song: Between dinner and the dance floor, there is often a “dead zone.” A pro DJ uses a “Bridge Song”, something mid-tempo that builds energy, to transition the room’s mindset from “eating” to “moving”.

• The “Aces” List: Every DJ has 5 songs that never fail in their specific market. Identify your “Aces” for when the floor starts to thin. Know your couple and how they feel about group dance songs to bring guests to the dance floor.

• The “Point of No Return”: Set a ‘Music Lockdown’ date. Tell the couple that all special song choices must be finalized 7 days out. This prevents last-minute stress and ensures your library is perfectly prepped and backed up.

Phase 5: The Final Sync (1 Week Out)

Schedule a “Final Details” call to lock in the Timeline.

• Verify the toast order. Who is speaking? Does the Best Man need a wireless mic or a stand?

• Confirm the “First Song” of the open dance floor. This is the “Icebreaker”.

• The Mic "Hand-off": Never just hand a mic to a nervous Best Man. Say: "Hold it like a soft serve ice cream cone, right to your chin”. This saves you from constantly riding the gain on a quiet speaker.

• Pro Tip: Ask if there are any sensitive family dynamics (e.g., “Don’t announce the parents together because they are divorced”).

Phase 6: The Day Of (The Performance)

• Early Arrival: Aim to be “sound-check ready” 60 minutes before the first guest arrives.

• The Mic Check: Always have a backup wired microphone at the booth. Wireless interference is unpredictable. Have extra batteries!

  • The “Officiant and Couple’s” Check: If you are providing sound for the ceremony, always do a mic check with the Officiant and wedding couple (for vows) personally. Show them exactly where to clip the lavalier mic (mid-chest) or how to hold the handheld so the wind doesn’t catch it. Your recording and their voice depend on this 30-second interaction.

The “First Song” Moment

The toasts are finished. The parent dances have brought a tear to everyone’s eye. The lights go down. Your job as the MC is to announce the opening of the dance floor with confidence.

Your “First Song” should be a “unity” track. It needs to be something that gets the 8-year-old niece and the 80-year-old grandfather on the floor at the same time. Once that floor is full, your months of meticulous preparation have paid off.

Pro Tip: The first dance song should be ever-changing based on the way guests react to your songs during cocktail hour and dinner. If heads are nodding to EDM tropical during cocktail hour, then go with “This Is What You Came For” by Calvin Harris and Rihanna.

• Read my article on How to Read a Room.

The Post-Event Must-Do:

Your job isn’t over when the last song plays. Follow up with the couple 48 hours later. Send them a ‘Congratulations’ note and, if you caught a cool video of the dance floor on your phone, share it with them. That follow-up is what turns a one-time performance into a lifetime of referrals. Don’t forget to ask a review and provide a link to your Google Business Profile.

The “Social Media Handshake”

When you post that cool dance floor video, tag (or make them IG collaborators) the venue, the photographer, and the planner. Being a ‘pro’ means helping your fellow vendors look good, too. They’ll remember you when the next couple asks for a DJ recommendation.

Thanks for reading!

Matthew Campbell

Wedding MusicLetter